I want it to loom.
You know when you have a friend who you think is pretty cool, but then something happens, they move away or you move away or somebody's life changes, and you're just not in the same sphere as them anymore? And maybe one or both of you try to hold on to the friendship in spite of that, but the day inevitably comes when either you stop writing emails (or whatever) or they stop answering them, and that's just it, you never hear from them again?
I hate that.
I even know it's going to happen, because it always does. But that doesn't help. I still hate it.
I don't know how other people feel about this...I can't imagine it's anybody's favorite thing...but as for myself, I don't often feel connected to people on any level, so when I do, it's very important to me, and I suppose I want to hang on to that if at all possible.
And if I should still feeling connected when the other person doesn't, that's a particular thing. If I'm making the effort to keep in touch and this other person just isn't, then that's kind of a slap in the face, isn't it? Sure, maybe they're busy with whatever, but that's ony valid up to a point. If they can't spare thirty seconds to respond to an email or IM, you know, "Hi, thanks for writing, really busy, bye," then they just clearly don't care at all.
Don't much like having my face slapped that way, especially by people whose opinions I actually value. I start thinking, well, that's great, they don't value the friendship at all, and hey, for all I know maybe they never really did, maybe they just kept me around for their own amusement value (*cough*) or whatever, and so on.
Yeah, I'd guess none of you know what the hell I'm going on about at this point. Alright, I'm done bitching now. Moving on.
I hate that.
I even know it's going to happen, because it always does. But that doesn't help. I still hate it.
I don't know how other people feel about this...I can't imagine it's anybody's favorite thing...but as for myself, I don't often feel connected to people on any level, so when I do, it's very important to me, and I suppose I want to hang on to that if at all possible.
And if I should still feeling connected when the other person doesn't, that's a particular thing. If I'm making the effort to keep in touch and this other person just isn't, then that's kind of a slap in the face, isn't it? Sure, maybe they're busy with whatever, but that's ony valid up to a point. If they can't spare thirty seconds to respond to an email or IM, you know, "Hi, thanks for writing, really busy, bye," then they just clearly don't care at all.
Don't much like having my face slapped that way, especially by people whose opinions I actually value. I start thinking, well, that's great, they don't value the friendship at all, and hey, for all I know maybe they never really did, maybe they just kept me around for their own amusement value (*cough*) or whatever, and so on.
Yeah, I'd guess none of you know what the hell I'm going on about at this point. Alright, I'm done bitching now. Moving on.
posted by Craig at 10:54 AM
2 Comments:
Well, Craig - I certainly know how you feel. But I have a problem. I'm one of those lazy people: while I love you very much (and others, as well), I won't get motivated to write them or call them, or email them, or anything. Because I'm not much motivated for anything sometimes. When I am motivated, I call or email whomever comes to mind first, and do that until the desire to call and or email again sinks below the motivational threshold. I happen to be lucky in that when the motivation strikes again (usually at least a month later), I have different people percolating to the top - so in some way it gets spread around.
I have maintained (don't know why) that you can remain connected in feeling without talking all the time...
meh. maybe I'm just weird.
The flipside of my post is that I so very much appreciate those of you who have kept in touch. You all are great.
It's not the somebody occasionally showing up and having a nice conversation with me and then I don't hear from them for a while that bothers me. I understand that keeping in touch can be an effort, and I value that effort.
What burns my proverbial muffin is the complete lack of contact, the clear unwillingness of the person to expend the effort, ever. That's what bothers me.
Suffice it to say, my self-centered rant was probably not directed at anybody reading this, and certainly not directed at anybody who would take the time to read and respond.
Just needed to vent.
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